Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I’m…I’m…I’m just being honest.
Is it wrong that every day for more than an hour, I bring my blanket and pillow and sleep in the student lounge with all of the other kids sitting around me studying algebra, thermonuclear dynamics, and philosophy?
Is it also wrong that when I wake up, I yawn and stretch my bones as though working at my job is one of the hardest and most physically demanding jobs I could take in this city?
And lastly, is it totally inappropriate for me to lay there, with Jewish kids around me, imagining musclemen whisking me away to a land of rough, yet passionate sex?
Eh. Just wondering.
Cuz it’s my life.
This week has been pleasantly uneventful. The weather is finally getting nicer, my co-workers moods have improved (slightly) and my apartment looks so beautiful bathed in the glow of warm sunshine. Makes me want to walk around singing Pink’s “God is a DJ”. And I hate Pink. Unless it’s a pink vagina. Now THAT I can get down with.
(running to the bathroom to vomit)
Ok, now that I’ve wiped my mouth of the excess puke, I can think about more important issues. Like, well, why does Jessica Simpson have a man face? And if she does have a man face, does that mean that Nick Lachey is gay? And if THAT’S the case, does he really mean to be married to me?
Or how come Ryan Seacrest is 5 inches tall? It seems to me that every time I switch on my TV, he gets littler and littler until he is SO yiddle that all of the 14 year old American Idol Contestants are bigger and stronger than he will ever be!
There’s also the plaguing dilemma of Rudy Huxtable in that Chingy video! I mean…scaring me Rudy.
Maybe, instead, I will discuss the difference between poop and pee.
You see, poop consists of a solid while pee consists of a liquid. No, that can’t be right. My poop is often classified as a liquid. They do come out of different holes though and that is very important in discussing the truth behind the poop and the pee. But is a stream of yellow corn and one is stream of peas and carrots. But both taste like vegetables and are good for you. On the other hand I think tha…
Gotta go.
Is it wrong that every day for more than an hour, I bring my blanket and pillow and sleep in the student lounge with all of the other kids sitting around me studying algebra, thermonuclear dynamics, and philosophy?
Is it also wrong that when I wake up, I yawn and stretch my bones as though working at my job is one of the hardest and most physically demanding jobs I could take in this city?
And lastly, is it totally inappropriate for me to lay there, with Jewish kids around me, imagining musclemen whisking me away to a land of rough, yet passionate sex?
Eh. Just wondering.
Cuz it’s my life.
This week has been pleasantly uneventful. The weather is finally getting nicer, my co-workers moods have improved (slightly) and my apartment looks so beautiful bathed in the glow of warm sunshine. Makes me want to walk around singing Pink’s “God is a DJ”. And I hate Pink. Unless it’s a pink vagina. Now THAT I can get down with.
(running to the bathroom to vomit)
Ok, now that I’ve wiped my mouth of the excess puke, I can think about more important issues. Like, well, why does Jessica Simpson have a man face? And if she does have a man face, does that mean that Nick Lachey is gay? And if THAT’S the case, does he really mean to be married to me?
Or how come Ryan Seacrest is 5 inches tall? It seems to me that every time I switch on my TV, he gets littler and littler until he is SO yiddle that all of the 14 year old American Idol Contestants are bigger and stronger than he will ever be!
There’s also the plaguing dilemma of Rudy Huxtable in that Chingy video! I mean…scaring me Rudy.
Maybe, instead, I will discuss the difference between poop and pee.
You see, poop consists of a solid while pee consists of a liquid. No, that can’t be right. My poop is often classified as a liquid. They do come out of different holes though and that is very important in discussing the truth behind the poop and the pee. But is a stream of yellow corn and one is stream of peas and carrots. But both taste like vegetables and are good for you. On the other hand I think tha…
Gotta go.
